Well the three month mark has come and gone which means that I have been training now for roughly six weeks. Seems like forever and no time, at the same time.
Getting into the groove of things was hard. Not in the physical sense as much as mentally. I keep thinking (yeah, still do) about where I would be with the last year of uninterrupted training which I feel helplessly far from now. A pointless self comparison of where I could be and where I am.
I would be in the middle of a work out and think- “I can’t do this because I slept for two hours last night. I can’t do this because I haven’t worked out in months. I can’t do this because I have been playing with my son all day and I am exhausted. I can’t do this because I have been working all day.” Loads of laundry, piles of dishes, my husband is sick, my son is sick, I am sick. The list of excuses that popped up in my head during workouts goes on and on. Every time one would come to mind, I had to actively change it into a reason why I COULD and WOULD complete the workout and complete it well.
I WILL do this BECAUSE I haven’t slept in weeks, because I am tougher than most (tough.. a decision I made a long time ago). I WILL do this BECAUSE I have not worked out in months and I am determined to come back. I CAN do this BECAUSE I have been playing with my son all day and his love gives me strength.
This battle of the mind continued for about a week or at CrossFit Arx, two cycles, until it just stopped. Negative thoughts just stopped resonating in my mind. I found that once they stopped everything improved; my workouts, my energy levels, and my attitude.
Find joy and strength in the new trials presented by motherhood, they aren’t going anyway. Work with them rather than against them and see how much smoother your day goes.
The prize for my hard work? Getting my muscle up back! Any CrossFit mom will tell you, this is a breath of fresh air. A reminder that your “old self” is still out there ready for you to find her.